So, I'm sitting here

on the computer trying to figure out if I want to do another blog tonight. I've been really thinking about this one since yesterday afternoon. See, I did my blog yesterday and then I jumped in the shower. While I was "unavailable", my mom called and left me a teary voicemail. She was telling me what a wonderful, wise woman I was. How I was a great mother and how special I was.



Like I said, I've been thinking about this alot. I think there are things in my life (good and bad) that have made me the person I am today. These things have impacted decisions I've made. I don't look at my myself the same way my mom looks at me. I don't think I'm a bad person. In fact, for the most part I'm happy with myself as a whole. I guess what I'm saying is I'm not without flaws, of course none of us are. I see my flaws and here lately, way before yesterday, I've been thinking about them. One thing I mentioned to Cody is that I want to be a better person, better wife and better mother in 2009.



I think I'm selfish. Not where my husband or kids are concerned, because I always will make sure they have before I do. But, with other people or things. I don't put as much as I should in the collection tray at church. I guess you could say I feel I'm selfish with money. I love to have that extra little bit in the bank for the emergencies but I also know that God will provide for us. I sometimes have to remind myself of that. I do hide the chocolate from the kids, but I think that's a mommy thing. I look at it that I'm protecting their teeth and their bodies from all that yucky sugar. I think I'm selfish with my time. I love my time with my family and I don't like too many things to interrupt that.



I think I need to spend more time with my kids. I just rely in the fact that there are three of them and they love to play together. When they go into the backyard to play, I usually open up the window and doors and stay in the kitchen and clean. I need to put the cleaning away and go outside with them. They will only be this age once and I'll never get this time back. I want to do silly stuff, fun stuff with them. I think I've gotten away from doing that. I vow right now that I need to change that. I have great kids. Most of the time they love me (when they aren't in time out) and they tell me I'm a good mommy (except the times Preslie tells Cody that they need to look for a new mommy).



As for the better wife part, I need to find the time to actually go out on a date with my husband. It's been well over a year since we've done that. And even though we both feel we don't need that date, it sure would be nice to have that every so often. I need to remember sometimes that Cody works very hard for this family. He works hard so we can have what we have and if he wants a few extra mins on the computer then I need to realize he earned that. Of course, that takes me back to being selfish. If I can con him into somehow giving the kids the shower then I'll do it. I have a wonderful husband. The kind every woman dreams of having (just wish I could get him to take out the trash). I need to tell him more often that I'm proud of him. I can' imagine how hard it is to work to support your family and go to school at the same time.



So see, I do have my flaws. Although I don't think this is what my mom was talking about. She always tells me that she wasn't a good mother but if that was the case, then I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm not saying she doesn't have her flaws but she's a pretty great mom. I guess nobody is perfect.